I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Randomize
