if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
