Texts From Last Night

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  (239): View more from Florida

  Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?

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  (239): Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song? http://tfl.nu/r0ur
  Replies (5) Good night (2921) Bad night (688)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around

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  (303): i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around http://tfl.nu/e0gz
  Replies (14) Good night (2188) Bad night (5942)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.

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  (267): He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever. http://tfl.nu/526w
  Replies (48) Good night (29052) Bad night (1078)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.

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  (304): I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language. http://tfl.nu/immq
  Replies (11) Good night (1502) Bad night (3708)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes

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  (718): you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes http://tfl.nu/46zk
  Replies (9) Good night (696) Bad night (2722)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else

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  (785): Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else http://tfl.nu/imin
  Replies (8) Good night (2669) Bad night (1088)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne

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  (603): I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne http://tfl.nu/z1js
  Replies (7) Good night (1710) Bad night (1244)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?

  (903): View more from Texas

  Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...

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  (360): Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated? (903): Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake... http://tfl.nu/fy7y
  Replies (6) Good night (2475) Bad night (635)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.

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  (701): Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle. http://tfl.nu/xafh
  Replies (9) Good night (1298) Bad night (1954)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.

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  (412): Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out. http://tfl.nu/chur
  Replies (10) Good night (4151) Bad night (1139)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours

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  (610): You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours http://tfl.nu/b1w1
  Replies (5) Good night (2756) Bad night (817)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?

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  (480): So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast? http://tfl.nu/qa47
  Replies (3) Good night (1049) Bad night (574)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken

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  (914): I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken http://tfl.nu/q5lf
  Replies (5) Good night (755) Bad night (940)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.

  (1-419): View more from Ohio

  Dreams are coming true for both of us.

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  (419): I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest. (1-419): Dreams are coming true for both of us. http://tfl.nu/6zn2
  Replies (1) Good night (802) Bad night (263)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.

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  (307): I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire. http://tfl.nu/z5bx
  Replies (0) Good night (576) Bad night (250)

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