the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?