I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.