Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
zippers are such a cool invention
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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