All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize