I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
