I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
