real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
