Sry I called you an 8
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
