I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
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