bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
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