just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
