Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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