Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Randomize
