Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
