so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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