I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
