we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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