did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
