I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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