I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
