i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
