He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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