we have officially lost it.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
