I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
