My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
