Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
