when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
