I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize