She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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