What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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