i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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