I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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