i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
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i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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