it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
