My pussy is not your playground.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
The air was thick with penises
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
