the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
