I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize