I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize