I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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