i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
