At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize