Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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