how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
