ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
