if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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