Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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