You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
