She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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