I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
