it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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