i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
