Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
organizing the empties. That sober.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
