Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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