She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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